23rd Psalm for TV
The TV set is my shepherd,
My spiritual growth shall want.
It maketh me to sit down and do nothing for His name’s sake,
Because it requireth all my spare time.
It keepeth me from doing my duty as a christian,
Because it presenteth so many good shows that I must see.
It restoreth my knowledge of the things of the world,
And keepeth me from the study of God’s word.
It leadeth me in the paths of failing to attend evening worship,
And doing nothing in the kingdom of God.
Yea though I live to be a hundred,
I shall keep viewing my TV as long as it will work,
For it is my closest companion.
Its sound and its picture, they comfort me.
It presenteth entertainment before me,
And keepeth me from doing important things with my family.
It fills my head with ideas which differ from those set forth in the Word of God.
Surely no good thing will come of my life,
Because my TV offereth me no good time to do the Will of God;
Thus I will dwell in outer darkness with the servant who buried his talent.