So You Want to Marry My Daughter?

So You Want to Marry My Daughter?


This is for all those parents who’ve got someone dating their daughter and talk is turning towards marriage. That means her current boyfriend could soon be the one raising your grandchildren!

It is important for parents to be able to accept and bless a marriage relationship and sometimes to be the voice of reason about whether they should get married at all, especially when the happy couple are so in love they’re not necessarily thinking things through. Part of this is determining the long term compatibility of the prospective partners including assessing their life values and behaviours. Assuming you know your daughter reasonably well it is probably the prospective suitor you’re wanting to get to know.

Through normal interaction you can get to know him, the question is “What do I need to know?” I have created below a list of hopefully useful information you may want to find out. You might not want to know everything on the list, you might want to know other things, that’s over to you. Hopefully you can learn about most of these things through conversation rather than grilling him with “20 questions.”

By the way, these also apply for someone wanting to marry your son.


·         How old are you?

·         Tell me about your family and growing up.

·         What have you achieved in life educationally?

·         What have you achieved in life financially?

·         Do you have a job?

·         What are your career prospects?

·         What are your life plans?

·         What is your calling?

·         Who has influenced you the most in life and how?

·         Who are your heroes?

·         Would you describe yourself as a high energy person?

·         Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

·         What excites you?

·         What bores you?

·         What do you do for fun?

·         What do you do in your spare time?

·         How many books a year do you read?

·         If money was no object for the rest of your life, what would you do?

·         Do you have any debt? If yes:

o   What does it relate to?

o   Do you have plans to get out of debt?

o   If yes, how and by when?

·         Do you support charities or causes? If yes:

o   How?

·         How many children do you want?

·         Are you a virgin? If not:

o   How many lovers have you had?

o   How many were female and how many were male?

o   How long did each relationship last?

o   Why and how did they end?

o   What ties do you still have to your previous lover(s)?

o   Do you have any children?

o   Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?

·         Have you been married before? If yes:

o   How many times have you been married?

o   How long did each marriage last?

o   Why and how did they end?

·         Do you have homosexual tendencies?

·         What gender do you identify with?

·         How often do you watch pornography?

·         How do you express anger?

·         Have you ever hit anyone?

·         How do you resolve conflict?

·         What is your love language?

·         How do you accommodate and relate to my daughter’s love language?

·         Do you believe in God? If yes:

o   What religious affiliation do you have – if any?

o   How often do you pray?

o   Which god do you pray to?

o   How often do you read the bible?

o   Do you believe Jesus Christ rose from the dead?

o   Do you think we should observe God’s laws as outlined in the Old Testament?

·         Do you think homosexuality is a sin?

·         Do you think marriage is only between one man and one woman?

·         Do you believe in evolution or creation?

·         Do you have any tattoos?

·         How do you determine what is right and wrong?

·         How is your health?

·         Do you have any medical conditions?

·         Are you overweight?

·         How do you stay healthy & fit?

·         What sports do you play?

·         Individual or Team sports?

·         Describe your strengths.

·         What values do you live by? Please give examples.

·         Describe your weaknesses.

·         Tell me about a time you lied.

·         Have you ever stolen anything?

·         Have you ever cheated? On anyone?

·         Do you love my daughter? If yes:

o   Explain what you mean by this.

·         Why should my daughter marry you?

·         What have you got to offer?

·         What makes you the best person in the world for her to marry?

·         Is marriage till death do you part?

·         Is marriage in riches or poverty, for better or worse, in sickness and in health ie irrespective of what life might throw at you?

·         Do you know what a covenant is?

·         Do you have what it takes to be my daughter’s husband?


P.S. If you’re thinking of marrying someone, you might want to know the answers to these questions.




Richard B-P

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Richard BP

Richard Braddon-Parsons currently resides in Palmerston North, New Zealand with his wife, two teenage daughters and son...


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